Your chances are better if you file first, while in possession of the children, though I do not persoanlly approve of divorce if it can be avoided. There are a number of things that can be done to improve your chances of getting custody, including keeping a daily journal. I’m in Overland Park and head up the efforts for the MoKan Chapters of the National Congress for Fathers and Children. Give me a call at (913) 385-DADS or (866) SEE-DADS if it is a long distance call.
Let me tell what membership can do to help you and about our MoKan efforts. Also, would you be willing to go on a national talk show to discuss your problems and try to keep the marriage together? Dr. Laura Scglessinger would be interested in your case for her show.