Welcome to the club of screwed Dads… Sorry for the abrupt intro but I went through the same.
I have been fighting for my children’s custody for almost three years now. My son is about to turn 14 and he will be able to make his own decision soon. Let me tell you very brefly what has happenned in those three years.
– I filed and paid lots of money.
– She played a delay the process game since of course it was convenient. I practically financed her fight.
– Finally after over a year after my filing we go to court.
– After 2 days of court, I am awarded custody. I did have a lot of good evidence against her mostly dealing with my involvement in school, with teachers, and my childrens care and lives.
– She files for a new trial and because the law or should I say Idiotic law in the state of Georgia that says that if she appeals the ruling returns to the original decree, she gets them back and i continue to finance her fight.
PS: this is aftyer the children have clearly expressed their desire to live with me also.
– We go for the new trial hearing and once again a ruling in my favor denying her a new trial.
– She files for an appeal and once again she gets the children because of that great law in Georgia that allows the children to keep being tugged and pulled back and forth.
– Another year goes by and finally the appeal court submits their recommendation that once again states in my favor that the decision made by the court should remain. Once again I get custody and once again she regains custody by filing an appeal to the Supreme Court, as I understand her last chance.
– It has been approximately two months since this and once again who knows how long this will last this time around. Hopefully not too long.
The court system allows for the custodial parent to be abusive to the system, manipulative, and in control even when a total of four judges have ruled that “THE BEST INTEREST FOR THE CHILDREN IS TO LIVE WITH THEIR FATHER”.
You will hear this “BEST INTEREST FOR THE CHILDREN” phrase over and over and over again. Quickly you will realize that the only interest being served is that of the defendant in custody cases.
After almost three years and over $30,000.00 , it looks like the only way I will get my children soon is because my son will be 14 on November and he will be able to make his own decision. He already said he wants to be living with me by December 1, 2000.
So, what does the system that cares about “THE BEST INTEREST FOR THE CHILDREN” has accomplished?
– My son has to be the one to do the dirty work since the state or courts cannot provide him with the best situation.
– My children will be separated at least temporarily since my daughter is only 12 so she cannot voice where she wants to live.
– My son is aware that his Mother’s family will hold his decision against him and expects mistreatment such as guilt trips and other mental abuse from that side of the family.
It’s OK, this is for their best interest!
I would tell you that the first thing you need to do is tell your wife that your financial situation is not good and so she needs to get back to her full time job. Then talk to her about counseling for both of you.
If possible, hopefully your job allows you to have some extra time where you can become very involved with the school and your children. Maybe you should even find a job that allows you to do this even if there is a pay cut. That is why she needs to work full time. I did it, I took a pay cut and lived my life for my children. Then I realized I did not take a pay cut, I got a big fat raise that was paid daily by the love of my children. There is no amount of money that can beat that! Be the ONE involved in your childrens every day life, you will not be sorry…