I think Sara hit it right on point

Plus, given that your kids are so young, unless you can show she is an unfit mother (being a slob doesn’t meet that definition), and you didn’t try to suggest it in this forum, my guess is that isn’t worth the argument.

If counseling doesn’t work and you can’t stand your wife, how about joint custody? I’m working out an agreement where I would have my daughter 7 days out of 14 on a 4-3-3-4 night schedule.