Well, from personal experience and seeing what others in your situation have done, your wife’s cleaning habits and laziness unfortunately have little bearing when it comes to custody, unless you have custody to begin with. My suggestion would be to leave her first and take your sons with you, but when you do make sure that the first thing you do is file for divorce and request permanent physical (or Custodial) custody.
Your best bet is to make sure you have an attorney, I didn’t but I was also VERY lucky. Always remember one thing though, this is the one thing that saved my butt, always remember to document everything, no matter how insignificant it may seem, including her habits, such as cooking, cleaning, time spent with the children, language used around the children, and especially how much of a role she takes or doesn’t take in the children’s education.
All this REALLY DOES matter. Good Luck