State of GeorgiaI’m in Georgia.

From what I hear, that’s already a strike against me. The NEWs articles listed GA as 23-27% of GROSS for CS (I’m already using the ‘lingo’!). Now we’re talking $1,600 – $1,900/month. I’m just finding out how unfair the laws can be. I just received a $10,000 raise 2 weeks ago, and we’ve never spent more than $700/month giving our children everything they need. None of this seems to matter.

We seem to agree that I need to be in my children’s lives as much as possible, but due to travel & long hours getting this far in my career, It’s going to be hard to file for joint physical custody. Even if I changed jobs, now I have a ‘minimum income’ of $80k just to afford the child support. Lot’s of ‘Catch 22s’ in this sordid divorce business.

Getting depressing reading the posts, this is one newsgroup I had never planned on joining. Should change my name to ‘Shocked_Newbie’ 😉

Help!

I’m the father of two kids (2 & 5yrs/old) and have been married for 8 years. My wife wants a divorce. My wife was a programmer making $50k/year the 1st 3 years of our marriage while I finished school.

She quit when our 1st child was born. Now I’m making $85k/year and she wants $1800/month. She doesn’t want to work. I’m in the process of contacting an attorney, I think she already has. I offered $1300/month; knowing the kids don’t need that much for support.

Where do I stand.. I’m starting on the dark road of Divorce and don’t have a clue.

Brian

Well, from personal experience and seeing what others in your situation have done, your wife’s cleaning habits and laziness unfortunately have little bearing when it comes to custody, unless you have custody to begin with. My suggestion would be to leave her first and take your sons with you, but when you do make sure that the first thing you do is file for divorce and request permanent physical (or Custodial) custody.

Your best bet is to make sure you have an attorney, I didn’t but I was also VERY lucky. Always remember one thing though, this is the one thing that saved my butt, always remember to document everything, no matter how insignificant it may seem, including her habits, such as cooking, cleaning, time spent with the children, language used around the children, and especially how much of a role she takes or doesn’t take in the children’s education.

All this REALLY DOES matter. Good Luck

You have the makings of a good page – but you need serious help with alignment and spelling.

As for the Why? question – because since the dawn of time, males gave – yes, gave – the task of raising children to the females – and for a very long time, it was all we had. There’s a statement on a club with Yahoo that says – I grew into the Dad I didn’t want – sadly, we have a bad habit of perpetuating that which we live.

Your father was too busy for you, and now, because of social expectations and work habits, we become too busy for our children.

Just as it took – and is still taking – years to create equality for females and those of color, it will take additional decades for fathers to receive the just due for those who want to claim it. There will always be those who don’t want to claim their fatherhood as a prize, tainting those of you who do.

The question remains – how much and what are you willing to give up for your children? Women consistently lose job promotions because of the choices we make of our children over all else. Again, like with fathers, not all women are like this, but they are out there.

It’s a puzzling and sad social problem.

Plus, given that your kids are so young, unless you can show she is an unfit mother (being a slob doesn’t meet that definition), and you didn’t try to suggest it in this forum, my guess is that isn’t worth the argument.

If counseling doesn’t work and you can’t stand your wife, how about joint custody? I’m working out an agreement where I would have my daughter 7 days out of 14 on a 4-3-3-4 night schedule.

If you still care for her, I’d suggest a mediator and counseling. If there isn’t love there and you can’t or are afraid to communicate with her either one to one or with a counselor, then it’s time to find a lawyer or bite the bullet.

The odds…..not good, sadly. Lawyers cost a lot of money and if she’s with you because it’s easier than working herself and supporting herself, then she’ll fight it and use the kids against you.

I wish there were easy answers. If you have the money, find a good family law lawyer and talk with them.

sara